Today, I’d like you to meet Oregano Jones. (His name is Louie. You’ve seen him before, except he’s gotten a lot fluffier and a lot more full of himself.)
Do you remember this cat?
Note the hairess tail, the black nose, the skinny frame. He was one of those kittens that MomFOD forgot to tell me she adopted. She claims he was a “try before you buy” and also a “buy one/get another one for the same price” because he came glued to Pinkle. Anyway, this is what he looks like now:
Well, MomFOD has just informed me that is not, in fact, Louie. How odd. It looks so much like I perceive his personality. Anyway, I’ve been told to share this photo instead:
I don’t see a difference, really. They’re both furry, they both bug me, and they both have a big ass. Anyway, here’s what he has to say about himself:
Crepes: Hello, Louie.
Louie: Oregano Jones.
Crepes: I’m sorry?
Louie: I go by Oregano Jones now.
Crepes: Umm… ok…why?
Louie: It suits me. I’m handsome, I’m adventuresome, I’m really- Woah!
Crepes: And he fell off the chair.
Louie: No fear! I have righted myself!
Crepes: Nothing could make you right. Tell me about this alter ego.
Louie: Oregano Jones is who I’m known as in the industry.
Crepes: The pet fur industry?
Louie: In the movies! Have you NOT seen my films?
Crepes: Oh right. Those.
Louie: Anyway, this is where I got the name. And it stuck. So I’ll be using it going forward.
Crepes: Sigh. Your tail is in the pate.
Louie: That’s Biggie Fluff.
Crepes: Your tail?
Louie: Yeah. He’s got his own persona. Cuz he’s so magnificent.
Crepes: I – I just – Is there anything else you want to add about yourself?
Louie: I am fast! I am strong! I am- oh no!
Crepes: You’ve somehow managed to fall onto the floor from the floor. Well done, Louie.
Louie: Oregano Jones!
Louie: Hey, can I read this before you post it? I want to make sure you make me look cool.
Louie: Crepes? CREPES??
Louie Oregano Jones. He is fearless, he smells a little weird (mostly his breath), and he really thinks he’s great. What do you think?