So, I was wandering around my exile room, and I found something that seems REALLY IMPORTANT. Now, I know that GramFOD is really into Egyptian history and mummies and stuff, and those guys seemed to really know what was going on with the world and knowledge. So I was looking through her books for something to scratch, when out fell THIS.
It seems to be a book of the future! And it tells me that it will reveal EVERYTHING I need to know.
I gathered up my courage and I looked inside. And frankly, now I’m a little nervous because it seems like my future is going to be rather bizarre. For instance, look at this bit of knowledge:
It seems that I have to go East, and because it’s to the right, I know that, at some point in my life, I will be facing North. How does that help me? But then it gets creepy. Look at this:
Listen, if I find a dead body on the grating of a floor in a hallway facing East, I’m just going to leave it there, ok? After that, it seems like we’re going to encounter some violence.
You know what? I think I’m going to stay on my bike and turn left. I think that’s the best choice.
If a skeleton is attacking me, why would I take care of him? And for how many years? Eighteen? Is he going to become a dentist? Do I need to prepare to pay for his schooling? Also, I hate water.
Listen, I have NO IDEA what kind of book this is, but I decided not to read any further. It might by mystical and all-knowing, but I feel like some things are better left as surprises.
I’ll update you soon on my exile. It seems to be just me, Niles, Mrs. P, and Doodle here. Does anyone know where Rocky went? Hmm. Odd.