Exile Day 13: The Last Revelation

You guys!

So, I was wandering around my exile room, and I found something that seems REALLY IMPORTANT. Now, I know that GramFOD is really into Egyptian history and mummies and stuff, and those guys seemed to really know what was going on with the world and knowledge. So I was looking through her books for something to scratch, when out fell THIS.

The book of all knowledge

The book of ultimate knowledge

It seems to be a book of the future! And it tells me that it will reveal EVERYTHING I need to know.

Nothing is left to the imagination.

Nothing is left to the imagination.

I gathered up my courage and I looked inside. And frankly, now I’m a little nervous because it seems like my future is going to be rather bizarre.  For instance, look at this bit of knowledge:

Like suit and tie business or the kind that I do in the litter box? So cryptic.

Like suit and tie business or the kind that I do in the litter box? So cryptic.

It seems that I have to go East, and because it’s to the right, I know that, at some point in my life, I will be facing North. How does that help me? But then it gets creepy. Look at this:

Ummm... what?

Ummm… what?

Listen, if I find a dead body on the grating of a floor in a hallway facing East, I’m just going to leave it there, ok? After that, it seems like we’re going to encounter some violence.

Do they make flack jackets in my size?

Do they make flack jackets in my size?

You know what? I think I’m going to stay on my bike and turn left. I think that’s the best choice.

Does he need a college fund?

Does he need a college fund?

If a skeleton is attacking me, why would I take care of him? And for how many years? Eighteen? Is he going to become a dentist? Do I need to prepare to pay for his schooling? Also, I hate water.

Listen, I have NO IDEA what kind of book this is, but I decided not to read any further. It might by mystical and all-knowing, but I feel like some things are better left as surprises.

I’ll update you soon on my exile. It seems to be just me, Niles, Mrs. P, and Doodle here. Does anyone know where Rocky went? Hmm. Odd.

Love,

Crepes.

 

 

 

 

15 thoughts on “Exile Day 13: The Last Revelation

  1. MWAHHHH!! I think this book is better left unread too, perhaps let a dog bury it outside! *shudders in fear* I would leave the dead body too, how would a kitty our size move one anyway?! I hope Rocky is okay. Perhaps he’s on location making another film? The FODs may not have told mew knowing what a remarkable CAcTress mew are and that if mew were not able to star in it, that mew would be upset. I wouldn’t put being so sneaky past them, humanFODs are known to engage in such behavior at times. My MomFOD served the last piece of smoked turkey to my fur DOGGIE sister, then telling brofur Kaspars and me that there was none left and NO ONE had gotten any that day. She paid later though when I chomped on her hand instead of the turkey gone unshared! MOL!!

  2. crepes….yes…..we noe eggz actlee wear rocky wented….we iz sweared ta sekritcee…N if ewe, niles, mizzuz P ore doodle dawg find out…..yur knot gonna bee happee camperz sew we wont EVEN menshun him iz livin it up large N in charge at *********************************

Stumps up? Stumps down? What are your thoughts?